Monday, September 27, 2010
Ranting With A Soul

I rant with soul. I'm not sure why I used that, but I really don't like the word rant, though. It connotes an uncontrolled and purely emotional response in my point of view. I certainly make my points with clear and concise thoughts so there's no lack of control there. Rant doesn't seem to be the right word. I usually discount ranting as similar to a grunt or a sigh as opposed to a well thought out essay of ideas. Rant is a popular term lately and seems to mean expressing feelings as a kind of catharsis or the cathartic need to get it out. We used to say "getting it off your chest." I guess the part about being uncontrolled in rant has gone away.

I remember a year ago, there was this seminar I attended. He is a professor and a writer, and a casual blogger. I asked him at the open forum, "Is this a personal blog?". But he answered no, because he does not do rants. What comes to my mind about ranting is shout-outs, thinking out loud, and mind-farts. Freedom of expression, they say. Many people rant through blogs, and now I am one of them.


I once took a writing class when I was in elementary and the text we used was titled Write to Learn. The gist of it all is that good writing is inspired by emotions but many times we really don't know what we want to say until after it's written. The emotion is there, the irritation that causes a need to say something with writing, but what it is to be said isn't clear until the final period is on the final draft. Only the author knows when it's done and that itch that needed to be scratched is satisfied. The end product may have little to do with the initial words that began it all and by the end the author discovers what he meant to say way back in the beginning. I made a similar observation when I wrote about things becoming real once I write about them.

Some people express themselves and communicate better by writing like I do. It's said that Thomas Jefferson was a horrible public speaker and spoke with a stammer but there is certainly good reason why he was chosen to write to King George III. "WE hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness -- That to secure these Rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the Consent of the Governed, that whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these Ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its Foundation on such Principles, and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness." It's a beautiful 18th century rant telling the king to f*** off and we don't need your pompous ass anymore." If Jefferson had a blog today, it would be great fun to read.

Talking about blogs, I'm just curious how much money people make from blogging. And how much time they spend on front of the computer doing their blogs. I'm not sure how you can make money by blogging. Either the readers and contributors pay to participate, which is unlikely, or there are advertisements sold by you or the web host based on your traffic numbers. I've also heard of making money doing something called "click through" where you get a commission on sales from retailers who have links on your page. In these cases, it isn't the writing that generates the money. It's something else, and we are learning through the death of so many newspapers that given the choice of free writing versus not free that free is preferred. Writers are losing the ability to keep a paying audience so unless you are Stephen King or J.K. Rawlings you have a mountain to climb if you want to be rich by using your pen or keyboard.


Money is a necessary evil for survival. One needs it to live and usually the more you have the better, but not always. Usually the one that deserves it doesn't get it and sometimes the more you focus on earning it the more difficult the pursuit of money becomes. I have a job working in a company for an idiot boss and I dont know if ill stay long when I found out he was making more than twice than I was. I had no other job than call centers but I'll be damned if I'm going to play that game where I do the work and someone else takes the reward.

A friend I had once said that poor people are generally the happiest people as long as their needs are met. We all know the saying that money doesn't buy happiness. I know parents who were poor when they grew up, but only to the extent that their needs were met and that's all. One of my grandmothers took on boarders to make ends meet and she used to say that the best place to put your money is in your stomach, meaning to eat good quality and healthy food to fuel your body is a priority. I try my best to follow her advice.

Before we proceed i would like to tell you that this blog is not primarily a money blog. I do not have the luxury of time to update a blog. But I do want money, but I just have to realize sooner or later that I am not going to make money online quick from this blog, compared to the other money-generating blogs. I blog because I want to share my thoughts. I could rant. And I could do literature.

Secondly, I rant with a soul, meaning, I share my feelings, my thoughts, but not without my realizations and reflections. Ika nga, "An unexamined life is not worth living," Socrates said.

A final note, you may comment on my posts. Share your ideas. They are accepted, too. Don't worry, I will not have you killed by my international network of hitmen. Just kidding. Hahaha!!!

I'm not poor, but I'm not rich either. I'm surviving, and I'm happy. We could try a little experiment to see if I'd be everyday happy if I were also rich. Everyone who reads this can send me all their money and I'll let you know if I'm happy as a rich girl. When I'm swimming in cash I'll let you know if I'm happy. Promise.

 


Posted at 10:53 am by -sweetbaby-
click here for questions  

Wednesday, December 01, 2010
1

I’m really craving something like this. No sex or making out, nothing like that right now. But holding hands, not just holding hands but holding hands with someone you really care for. Laying down next to them, cuddling but something feels empty. Slipping your fingers into mine, I feel like I have the whole world in my hands at that moment. I feel like if I let go everything would be different, it’s a simple gesture but it means a lot, it shows how much I want need you, I need you with me, “Stay with me” don’t go anywhere.

Posted at 07:17 am by -sweetbaby-
 

2

"That's the best revenge of all: happiness. Nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone have a good fucking life."


"Don't feel sorry for yourself. Only assholes do that."


Your opinion on your own weight and what classes as "too fat" or "too thin".

Okay. If there's one thing I really abhor it would have to be stereotyping and/or discrimination. No one's too fat or too thin for chrissake! Jeez. Just stop it with the labeling and all! Beauty is only skin deep and to be truly happy one has to be with contented and comfortable in their own skin. We are all good enough. Keep that in mind. (inside voice: Practice what you preach!)

Anywaaaay, to answer this, I am a 5'4" forever (at least I'd like to assume so) slender and lean lady weighing 100-115 lbs. Underweight, yes? I do eat a lot. Diet is not really in my vocab. Indulge is my mantra when it comes to food! Case in point, I don't give much damn about my weight. As long as there's food on my table, lemme eat.


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Sam: If you accept, this ring will symbolize my promise to you to be true. To never pressure you to do anything more than kiss. To listen to your problems. To tell you when you have food in your teeth or eye gunk. To come over to your house whenever you need something super heavy moved around. I promise to make you feel proud when you point down the hall and say, 'That dude's my boyfriend.' I promise to do all of those things… without ever trying to sound like Matthew McConaughey. I really care about you, Quinn, and I want us to be together.


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… it would have to be cancelled plans. Just when you think everything's all set and prepped up, an unfortunate, inevitable something comes up to ruin everything.

Thank you secret forces of the universe for being so cooperative. You really love me, don't you?

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KFC last week. Jollibee yesterday. Mcdonald's tonight. How about Burger King or Wendy's the next day eh?

Yes, the hubby's right. Definitely gaining some serious weight lately. What will all the fast food smorsgasbord I've been devouring, that's not entirely impossible.

I couldn't care less though. One of life's pleasures is eating. Ha! So carry on and indulge Raine! To hell with the future calories and flabs.

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So I just came home about 2 hours ago. TGIF booze with friends! Well, I didn't drink though. LOL. Hubby grounded me because the last time I was out things ended up in an ugly mess, so yeah. I'd rather behave like a good girl. O:)

Oh and to the anon who asked if I'm married already. Yes sir/ma'am. I AM VERY MUCH TAKEN. <333

Right now, I am trying desperately to make this Sims 3 installer work. WORK, YOU PIECE OF SHIT, WORK!

While satisfying my sweet tooth with these babies! OREO BLUEBERRY ICE CREAM is my new looooooove! It leaves this cool feeling in your tongue like an ice cream does and it's not too sweet as I expected it would be. Of course, you can't go wrong with gummy and sour glow worms. Yum yum yum! =p~


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  • Stargazing on the rooftop without a care in the world.
  • Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
  • Enjoying a gallon of ice cream after a good cry.
  • Seeing a smile upon a cute kid's face.
  • Movie marathon of all the movies you loved as a kid.
  • Hot chocolate with marshmallows on a rainy day.
  • Receiving a much-needed hug when you least expect it.
  • Hearing compliments about your poetry from someone who writes better poetry than you do. <3
  • Playing video games. Like a boss.
  • Waking up in the morning with his still sleepy arms around me.
  • Witnessing old couples still sweet and cuddly.
  • Watching the sun set while on a beach.
  • Taking a bath after a rigorous exercise.
  • Ice cold water on a sunny, scorching day.
  • Hearing him strum his lovely guitar just minutes after a fight. 
  • Knowing a person trusts you enough with a deep secret.
  • Saying I love you to your parents
A month/year in your life when you were happiest and why

2 years ago, December 7th of 2008.

Justin and I got back together after tumultuous moments in our lives without each other. Well, of course I was also happy when he finally proposed to me and when we said our "I do's" but 120708 is just really special in a sense that we never really thought that we'd still be friends, more so end up as lovers again. Things were really unpredictable and unexpected back then (almost everything in life is anyway). So we were really glad (that would be an understatement) that we still found it in our hearts to pursue each other relentlessly. :">



Posted at 07:18 am by -sweetbaby-
 

3

I love lighthouses.  Beautiful.  Each have their own personality.  They can save lives.  Plus they mean beach. Water. A place of serenity. There is nothing prettier than the beach/ocean at midnight on a full moon. You can clear your head, heal your heart, come up with a million dollar idea on the beach during a full moon.  My fantasy is to own a beach house equipped with a light house.

Open window at night so I can hear the ocean roll in.

Yeah. That's the life right there.

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I am guilty of it.  I'd like to think I'm starting to take a different approach.  It's the way people react to others.  Whenever you start talking to someone new, you know right away if they fall into your "type" or not.  Thing is, you're only supposed to have one partner.  So why does everyone have to fit your "type" in order for you to even talk to them?  It may be online, at work, school, the mall even .Just be social. Is it really that bad if all you did was make a new friend?

Think of your closest friends of the opposite sex.  They probably are no where near your type physically….but they are special to you.  You get to know them.  You find out the person they are inside, and in your eyes, you discover their inner beauty.  It's much more than you would have even guessed.  So much more than you could have expected.  They care for you as any friend should.  Almost family probably.  They don't let you down.  They look to you when they need a friend.

I'm not saying to change the "type" of guy or girl you fancy.  But what I'm saying is that if someone wants to be social and chat it up, heck, what harm is that?  Why shut them out automatically?  You don't even know if they will be the one to introduce you to your next boyfriend/girlfriend.  Don't be so mean to people.  Make a new friend.  I realize you believe the world revolves around you.  You think everyone who talks to you wants to hook up.  WRONG.  Some of us are just friendly. 

You never know if the person standing next to you at the fastfood queue is the very person who will be your best man or maid-of-honor someday.  No one said everyone you meet has to be your potential mate.  They may be your children's godparents, babysitter…..heck, even dog-walker.  Be nice to people.  Open up a little.  Talk.  Most of all, as the cliche goes - Don't judge a book by its cover.


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You know what I suddenly missed? I cannot believe I'm saying this (you gais didn't hear from me, okay?) but… 

I REALLY MISS WORKING!

Oh it's not really just about the money. It's about the sense of satisfaction and fulfillment I get from working hard. 

DUH. Of course I'm just kidding. IT IS ABSOLUTELY ABOUT THE MONEY. LOL.

Kidding aside though, what I do miss is the fun I get from all the OT's, escapades after a hard day's night (qouting the Fab Four. I'm so kyot), drinking sprees, shopping and binge eating sessions and the nonstop nicotine galore addiction.

The irony is that when I'm working, I miss schooling. Now that I'm back in school, I'm whining that the grass may be greener on the other side of the fence.

Psssh. Why is it that we keep on wanting something we presently can't have?

TAPOS BIGLA RAW AKONG NAGDRAMA.


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Posted on November/8/2010


Random annoying what-nots:
  • Tagged photos of ME: pero wala naman ako. Tapos profile picture n'ya lang pala. What the hell.
  • Solicitors na may preference pa kung magkano ang dapat mong ibigay. May checklist pa! From P50-P500. I can give as much as 1k. Paano 'yan hindi abot sa bracket n'yo. Sorry na lang.
  • Mga kapwa pasahero sa jeep na mistulang tuod na ayaw makiaabot ng bayad. Taena. O manong, catch!
  • Saksakan sa lakas na tugtugan sa kapitbahay mo. Tapos puro Jejemon-ish sounds naman ang trip. *bullet to the head*
  • Ang walang katapusang pag-like ng sariling FB status. Para na'kong sirang plaka dito sa totoo lang. Dear Facebook, pwede bang pakialis na lang ang like feature sa sariling status? Para wala nang matempt magmukhang… 'yun na.
"It only gets better" - The HUBBY

Arguments are fairly common in relationships. I don't think there's a healthy relationship out there that hasn't gone through tough times; tough times that shook the very foundations of the relationship itself. 

Life has really been good to us for the past six years we've been together. I mean, yeah, it wasn't exactly all sunshine and roses or unicorns and rainbows but at the very least, we got through everything. Stronger, wiser. This bond we have has been my world since then and it's so damn stupid to throw it all way just like that.

BUT LIKE ANY OTHER COUPLE, WE ALSO HAVE OUR "MOMENTS".

The past two nights were a mess. A daunting mess that threatened to faze us, to upset us, to destroy us. Torrent of imperfections, plethora of frustrations, onslaught of shortcomings, attack of flaws. They all came barreling down at us, without hesitation, without warning, without caution.

As one of our favorite song goes, "We're just ordinary people." Weak, ill-tempered, offensive; what we've been during those ugly, horrible fights. We fell into the evil, perilous trap of hurting each other with cruel, spiteful words. IT DIDN'T FEEL GOOD. Oh God knows that, it didn't. Like a monster who had just finished slaughtering his prey, I felt god-awful for being such an insensitive bitch. And he was a jerk, a bastardous mothereffer.

It all came down to a point of questioning. A question of whether it is still worth all the trouble. A question of whether love is truly enough to survive it all. A question whether to stay together or just walk away.

Today, we luckily managed to patched things up. Cleaned the suffocating air, so to speak. As cliche-ish as it may sound, we had a heart-to-heart talk. Oh how easy it was to resolve issues while sober and level-headed. Trust me, the things we said in anger are most probably the things we'll regret sooner or later.

So to all those naysayers who believe that differences cannot be sorted out through a cool, calm and composed conversation, you just got pwned bitches.


Posted at 07:31 am by -sweetbaby-
 

hehehehe


Posted at 07:46 am by -sweetbaby-
click here for questions  

4



To be made loved to, not to be fucked. Huge difference. #whatwomenwant


Day 9: 10 ways to win your heart

  1. Open doors, pull chairs and all that jazz. Not just for me. But for every other lady in your life especially your relatives. For the record, chivalry is so not dead. Get that through your thick skulls, you male species!
  2. Serenade me with a song you’ve written especially for me. That would make me melt like ice cream on broad daylight.
  3. Cook your special recipe then prepare a candlelit dinner at your place.
  4. Surprise me with random, sweet trinkets. The element of suspense and thrill will always have me. Just make sure it is a damn good surprise, okay?
  5. Stimulate my mind. I like someone who can carry a good great conversation. I tend to get bored easily so you better amuse me.
  6. Understand and tolerate my idiosyncrasies. I am a crazy, deranged woman. If you can love me despite that, then i am all yours, baby.
  7. Always be someone who is comfortable in their own skin. Someone who is secure and man enough to direct this life in the right path.
  8. Love my family as much as I love ‘em.
  9. Dance like a mean dancing machine.
  10. Your name better be JUSTIN MARQUEZ. :”> <3
You know what I love about us?

I love how comfortable we are with each other. I love how we endlessly make fun of each other, but never take the teasing to heart. I absolutely adore how I turn away from you when we’re fighting, you try to stay mad, then run after me. I love the look in your eyes when we kiss or how you stay up to watch me sleep. I love how I can call you anyime when I need someone and somehow you never cease to make me laugh. I love how you need me as much as I need you. 

And most of all, I love how you love me

Time, oh fleeting time~

Seeing former grade school and high school (and college too!) batch mates’ profiles on Facebook amuses me to no end. It seemed only yesterday that we’re all these little pesky kids running around the campus’ playground but now most of us have families of our own. The kids who used to be so stubborn and roguish are now big daddies and mommies of cutie patootie babies. 

How time flies indeed.

I think I’ve got tears in my eyes now.

---------------------------------

It amazes me that after all these years, no matter how busy we get with our respective individual lives, we still can manage to make time and catch up with OUR LIVES TOGETHER, as husband and wife. We may encounter issues and rifts every now and then but we don’t allow those things, may they be petty or huge, to ruin the healthy, loving relationship we’ve worked to maintain for so long.

As I’ve told you, time and time again, YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE ME - my support, my loving, my everything. This new role of yours as an entrepreneur is working out so well and I couldn’t be any happier than that. I just knew it’s in you to succeed in whatever your heart desires. :)

Thank you for always making me feel like a million bucks. Yes, baby, I am beautiful. With or without the makeup, the trendy clothes, the high heels and what-nots. 

With you I don’t have to be all glammed up and dressed to the nines, I JUST GOTTA BE ME. And all’s well. :”>


Well, you just turned a year older last week. ‘Twas fun, yes. Simple, serene. I guess you’ve outgrown your wild streak. Not quite in its entirety but I know you’re getting there. Lately, I know we’ve had some moments, good moments, and I feel like I’m getting back into your good graces. Having said that, I just wanna take this chance to let you know some of the things I should’ve told you eons before but was too chicken shit to do so.

Here goes nothing.

I am sorry for causing you a lot of pain. I never meant to hurt you. I want you to be happy. I am sorry for not always being there when you needed me the most. I wish that I could go back in time so that i can fix everything I did wrong. I am sorry for not making you stronger and assertive. I feel like you were weak before because I wasn’t really there to back you up all the time. You might feel like every bad thing that has happened to you was your fault, but it is not. It is all my fault.

Things would have been much more different if I had pushed you to be more confident, strong, and assertive. You have been let down by a lot of people and myself as well. I know that you felt you could always count on me. You still can.

I have changed. I took a good look in the mirror and told myself that I am now going to help you live life to the fullest. I am going to make sure that you stick up for your self and I am going to make sure that you dont let people walk all over you.

You are a great person and don’t ever let anyone make you fel like you are less than what you are. You have great friends to support you and you have ME.

YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE ME.

Love, 

Raine



STORY OF MY LIFE.

DAY 5: 10 WISHES

  1. I wish for a million more wishes. Yes, I know this line has been used prolly a gazillion times already, but what the heck, I want it and I’m hella serious about it, so just zip it. :P
  2. A BRAND NEW SPANKING DSLR CAMERA. My 10mp digicam has well served its purpose. But it’s now high time to move on to greener pastures. Heh.
  3. My hubby’s health has been kinda up and down this year. I really, REALLY hope he bounces back to his usual good make that great health condition. :(
  4. For higher grades. Yep, nothing lower than 1.75.
  5. The business thingie did fantastic on its first debut week. YAY! We’re so crossing our fingers that this success continues until we all get mucho mucho filthy rich! HAHAHA!
  6. I totes would want to move out of Bulacan and live in Cavite instead. 
  7. This “lovelife issue”, this current difficult predicament that we’re in, GAHD, I HOPE IT WILL END SOON. Because I srsly can’t take it anymore. I’ve had enough of trouble and drama.
  8. May my parents stop fighting and bickering so often. Their incompatibility issues drive me up the wall. WHY JUST NOW? Why stay for 25 years if you can’t stand each other in the first place? Uggh!
  9. A DRIVER’S LICENSE + one of my hubby’s babies aka cars. <3
  10. MAY ALL THESE WISHES OF MINE COME TRUE. :) Like REALLY REALLY SOON!

DAY 4: 10 THINGS YOU WANT TO SAY TO ONE PERSON

  1. Well, well, well. Guess who’s turning older and grey-er by the minute. :P
  2. Through plethora of obstacles and myriad of troubles, no one is happier than me knowing you’ve come out stronger and wiser. 
  3. If only patience and maturity are tangible objects, I’d be wrapping ‘em in a box and give ‘em to you us gifts. Dear, you badly, LIKE BADLY, need ‘em! ;)
  4. GET A HAIR SPA TREATMENT REAL SOON! I can’t stand the dryness and frizziness (oh, that’s not a word shit) of your tresses. 
  5. You’re very lucky to have someone like Justin in your life. Please know that you’ve hit the jackpot.with that guy. HE’S A KEEPER. Take care of him as he takes care of you.
  6. Two words: LAW SCHOOL. Pursue it! Pronto!
  7. 7 days a week. Make each day count, Treasure the moments. Good, bad, sad, happy, awesome, terrible. Whichever. Just be glad that you’re alive.
  8. Horizontal 8 = infinity sign. GET A TATTOO OF THIS!!! Be “man” and gutsy enough to get inked, you chicken shit, you! 
  9. CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY. If happiness is indeed a state of mind then try to always think of happy thoughts. :)
  10. LOVE YOURSELF. ‘Nuff said.

P.S. I love you, Raine! 23 years of awesomeness? Not bad, bitch, not bad!

Love, Raine <3


Every ended relationship, every tear shed, every broken heart. You pick up the pieces, you brush them off and you put them back together- only each time, you need a little more glue. Then just like that, glue’s not enough anymore. The cracks, the wholes, the shattered dreams? They’re a part of you. Try as you might, you can’t fix what’s been broken, you can’t mend what’s been torn. You’re down trodden, pathetic, unable to go on- or so you think. Then he walks into your life. With a smile, a whisper and a kiss, you’re no longer broken. Your world of gray becomes a little brighter, a little more colorful. The more time you spend with him, the more complete your once fragile, shattered heart becomes. Until one morning you wake up and just like that, you’re in love and the grass is greener and the sky is bluer and the past is the past. You are no longer consumed with regret, remorse or pain. Yet in the back of your mind, in the depths of your heart, one thing lingers- fear. Fear of what you’re risking, fear of going back, fear of being broken again, this time forever. Then he smiles and says those three words you’ve been longing to hear- and nothing else matters.


  1. Waking up in the middle of night, feeling your arms around me. Hugging me from from behind. Priceless! <3
  2. Fries, pizza, blueberry cheesecake, baked mac, shawarma, ice cream. Yes, they all count as ONE! ;)
  3. Watching the sunrise and the sunset. With you.
  4. Roadtrips! Beaching! Nature tripping!
  5. Out-of-the-blue serenades from you. :)
  6. RAINBOWS!!! <333
  7. Rainy days. When I’m all curled up on my bed, reading an awesome book, sipping hot choco with marshmallows. Oh the bliss!
  8. Seeing cutie patootie babies laugh with glee. It feels like their laughter can dissolve all the worries of this fucked up world.
  9. My memory boxes. TIME CAPSULES OF MY LIFE!
  10. LIFE ITSELF. Yes, life I love you! Even though you’re such a bitch most of the time.



Posted at 07:48 am by -sweetbaby-
 

tatz


Posted at 08:12 am by -sweetbaby-
 

   

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